Zoey the Replacement
by My Left Eye Sees Ghosts
Summary: Ichigo is out for the week. Ryou is left with no choice but to send in American Zoey Hanson for replacement. This is going to be a long week... DUB BASHING!
1. The Bad Beginning

A Telling of a REALLY Unfortunate Event and What Happened Afterwards

Summary: Ichigo is out for the week due to girl issues. So Ryou has to send in a replacement. Unfortunately, all other Intl. Ichigos are busy, and he's left with no choice but to hire American Zoey Hanson for the job! Dun dun duuuuunnnn... DUB-BASHING!

Disclaimer: I do not own Tokyo Mew Mew or Mew Mew Power. And I am unsure of when Ichigo's you-know-what really DID come around.

A/N: Everyone will be manga-aged. Meaning Ichigo, Minto, and Lettuce will be 11, Pudding will be 8, and Zakuro will be 14.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Chapter 1: Send in American Zoey Hanson!

It's a beautiful day! The sun is shining, the birds are chirping, and- oh let's skip all this happy-sappy junk and cut to the chase.

"Waitress! Where's my water?"

"Coming! Could you get that, Lettuce? I'm having my tea."

"Sure! AAAACK! Pudding, that's dangerous"

"Wheeeeee na no da! Plate spinning!"

"Ahh, I don't get paid enough for this job, especially when I have to work with four screeching little girls."

For the one who is deaf, these are the typical sounds that would come from Café Mew Mew. Yup, dare I say it, but it was just another normal day. Except for the fact that Ichigo was absent, but let's take our time, eh?

"OK, girls! I need you all in the basement."

That was none other than Ryou Shirogane, the dashingly handsome (but not hot) boss of the girls. Almost immediately, all four little girls put down whatever it was that they were doing and scampered downstairs to the basement.

"Girls, we're in a dire situation," Ryou said in a dead-serious tone.

A gasp went through the four wide-eyed girls.

Ryou laughed. "You girls would believe anything. Well, the situation really isn't that dire. All that's really happened is that I've let Ichigo take the week off because... uhh... she had her first... umm... well, she started her..." He paused for a second, trying to figure out the best way to word this.

Zakuro giggled uncontrollably. Being the oldest, she could never quite understand why people felt so embarrassed to talk about such things.

"What are you laughing about, Zakuro-onee-chan?" Pudding asked the giggling purple-haired girl.

Minto, on the other hand, had sprouted a HUGE popped vein on her head. "It's not fair..." she muttered under her breath. "It's not fair that Ichigo gets to have hers before me... I'm ten times more mature than that stupid boor..."

Lettuce sweatdropped. "It's OK, Minto-san," she reassured the enraged navy-haired girl. "I haven't had mine yet either."

"Had what?" Pudding questioned no one in particular. Then she turned to Lettuce. "Lettuce-onee-chan, you're smart and you're nice. What are you talking about na no da?"

Lettuce sweatdropped again. "Pudding-san, we'll tell you when you're older..."

Pudding popped a vein. "NO! TELL ME NOW NA NO DA!"

Ryou sighed. He had learned his lesson. Never again would he underestimate 11-year-old girls.

Zakuro was the first to snap back to biz. "Well, the important thing now is that Ichigo isn't here," she began. "So, what are we going to do?"

The blonde boy mentally sang Hallelujah. "Well, I tried to hire in a new replacement from the International TMM Dub-clone Committee," he started. By now, the other four girls had become quiet. "My first pick," he continued, "was Chinese Xiao-Mei. But she was busy. So then I tried Italian Strawberry, Portuguese Zoey, and Spanish Zoey, but all of them were unavailable. So I was left with no choice. I had to hire..."

A rush of dramatic music flooded the room.

"American Zoey Hanson!"

As if on cue, the double doors to the basement instantly slammed open with a loud bang. A crimson-haired girl who looked exactly like Ichigo strolled into the room. She strutted right up to Ryou and complained in a voice fit for a preppy cheerleader: "Look what you've done to me! You and your stupid language-switchy thing! I can't stand talking in Japanese!"

The four young girls gaped in awe. _THIS is our new teammate?_

Minto spoke up first. "Who are you and what do you have against the Japanese language?" she demanded the disgraceful girl.

"Well," the American Ichigo-dub-clone began, "I'm Zoey Hanson, and I'm your replacement for this...Ichigo...person."

"Ichigo-onee-chan's name is much prettier than 'Zoey Hanson' na no da," Pudding muttered under her breath.

Lettuce, who had been deep in thought ever since Zoey walked into the room, raised her hand in the air. "Shirogane-san, if Ichigo-san has an American dub-clone, do the rest of us have one too?"

Ryou smiled at the green-haired girl. "That's a good question, Lettuce. Yes, you all have American dub-clones, as well as Chinese, Italian, Korean, Spanish, Portuguese, German, and Dutch dub-clones." Then he muttered to himself: "Thank god the rest of the American dub-clones aren't here..."

Zoey was becoming impatient. "Skip the formalities, Elliot. Let's get the party started!"

Ryou slapped himself on the forehead. _She's calling me by my American dub-clone's name! Aaargh!_

Pudding started hopping up and down cutely. "Why is Zoey-onee-chan calling you 'Elliot', na no da?"

Ryou sighed and eyeballed Zoey. "Please," he begged her, "call us by our Japanese names."

Zoey tried to copy Ichigo's famous welcome-to-the-café pose. "Whatever you say, Rii-oh!" she sang cheerfully in her annoying preppy cheerleader voice.

Poor "Rii-oh" sighed exasperatingly. _We've got a looooooooonnnnnggggg week ahead of us..._

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

How'd you like it? Review, por favor. And remember, flames will be used to boil water for my Ramen.


	2. The Wrongly Aged Introduction

Chapter 2: The Mis-Aged Introduction

A/N: A few paragraphs down, you'll see the words for the introduction for Episodes 14-41. I translated it from its original Chinese, not Japanese, format; so please do not tell me something in there is wrong. Thanks!

PS: There should be nothing wrong with the introduction, because the Chinese version was directly translated word-for-word from the Japanese version.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

As we recall from the last chapter, Zoey has just arrived and is driving everyone, especially Ryou, up the wall.

Just then Keiichiro walked in. "Zoey-san, we always start our days off by letting you do the introduction."

Zoey was dazed for a moment. Then she finally came to her senses and asked: "What introduction?"

Ryou sighed and pulled out a piece of paper. "Just read this out loud," he said and handed the paper to the confused dub-clone.

"Whatever you say, Rii-oh!" Zoey sang once again. "Now, let's see..." she began, reading over the paper once.

The paper said:

_Hi! I'm Momomiya Ichigo, 13 years old. I used to be a normal first-year junior high school student. But then one day a strange thing happened and I transformed into a superhero called a Mew Mew to protect the earth from aliens! If my heartbeat becomes too fast, my cat ears and tail will pop out. Before I defeat an evil alien, there's no way I can turn back into a normal girl. You've got to be kidding me! Never mind, complaining is no use. As long I have my new-found partners with me, I'll do great. For the future of the Earth, I'll be of service, nya!_

"What?" Zoey gasped after she read the paper. "What kind of FREAK is this...Momomiya...Ichigo...? She's so...young..."

Ryou looked puzzled. "Really? How old are you?"

"I'm 16."

Everyone in the room, even Zakuro and Keiichiro, did anime falls. "WHAAAAAAAAAT?" everyone cried in unison.

It was Zoey's turn to look puzzled. "What...?"

"You're even older than me!" Ryou yelled.

Zoey ignored Ryou's remark. Instead she came up with a strange thought. "You guys are 6th graders?" she asked the other four Mew Mews.

Minto rolled her eyes. "No... What made you think that?"

"Because it says 'first-year junior high school' on the thingy."

Lettuce sweatdropped for the third time today. "No, actually you and Minto-san are in your 7th year of school."

"But the first year of junior high is 6th grade!" Zoey retorted.

Minto stuck out her tongue. "Well, here in Japan, the first year of junior high is 7th grade."

"Well, the Japanese are weird then," Zoey muttered under her breath. Then she asked out loud to the Mew Mews: "How old are you guys?"

Pudding popped in. "Well, Zoey-onee-chan, I'm 8; Lettuce-onee-chan and Minto-onee-chan are 11; and Zakuro-onee-sama is 14 na no da!"

It was Zoey's turn to sweatdrop. "W-why are you all...so...young...?"

Everyone eyed the dub-clone viciously. "Why are YOU so OLD?" they demanded.

Zoey tried to sweatdrop. However, being the most hated dub-clone, her privileges were few, so her attempts were futile. "Well..." she stammered. "I don't know..."

"You don't know anything..." Minto muttered under her breath.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

OK OK, anxious readers! I probably won't be updating this, since I just wrote it for fun. But plez tell me if you liked it or not!


End file.
